Current mood: Bob Belcher saying ‘oh my god’
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i’ve never seen any nsfw jaime reyes stuff but i can only hope that people are including the scarab in all of his sexual encounters. i mean.
he’s on the receiving end of hickeys??? “JAIME REYES, TEETH ARE BEING BARED DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE SUPERIOR VENA CAVA. PROCEED WITH CAUTION; PROTECT THE JUGULAR AND PULSE POINTS. RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION: IMMEDIATE TERMINATION.”
his partner takes off their clothes??? “JAIME REYES, THE ADVERSARY HAS SHED OUTER PROTECTION AND IS NOW RENDERED AT LEAST 16% MORE VULNERABLE. UPDATING WEAK POINTS.”
jaime tries to dirty talk??? “JAIME REYES, THE CURRENT METHOD OF SEXUAL STIMULATION IS DEEMED UNWISE. STATISTICALLY SPEAKING, THE MAJORITY OF HUMANS ARE UNLIKELY TO REACH CLIMAX BY BEING SPOKEN AT, REGARDLESS OF VOCAL HUSKINESS.”
jaime’s scarab for world’s worst wingman 2k14
I just realized…Katara and Sokka were probably sexy af by Avatar world beauty standards because EVERYBODY was trying to get a piece of their south, if you know what I’m saying.
Like,Aang, Zuko, Jet, and that one earthbender dude? All tried to get with Katara. She legit was walking around in her tribe’s version of an engagement ring and people were still trying to get with her. Imagine if she never wore it at all!
And Sokka? Oh shit let me get on Sokka, cuz all the girls in TLA wanted to. Suki was trying to get with Sokka. TOPH was trying to get with Sokka. THE FUCKING MOON SPIRIT was trying to get with Sokka. That girl was a whole ass princess who had a buff warrior fiance and she still wanted Sokka! This dude legit fell ass-backwards into an all-girl’s school and charmed ALL the girls in the class with his poetry. But he was corny as hell, and every girl that liked him was like, “Yeah, but that makes him cuter.”
“But wait, that could all just be basic heteronormative tropes in a kid’s show.” No, you dumb motherfucker! NO! Sokka and Katara are just, apparently, sexy as hell. Cuz consider:
Aang and Zuko only have two girls show interest in them in the entire series. the first are there respective girlfriends, Katara and Mai. Then there are one-off characters that kinda thought they were cute, but that’s it. Aang had Maang and Zuko had tea-shop girl.
Toph had no one. Iroh had no one.Jet was explicitly stated to be the ‘hot guy’ and HE had no one after Katara left his ass.
Katara and Sokka are just hot. They’re just the siblings that everyone wants. Like, if TLA was about Korra instead of Aang, she probably would have spent the entire series trying to get with both of them. Katara and Sokka are sibling goals, tbh. I only hope that one day my sister and I are so fine that anytime we go anywhere, everyone is trying to get with us.
Ty lee wanted a piece of Sokka too
all those ‘say no to drugs’ assemblies in school where WACK i never once had the pot head kids push the Devils Lettuce on me. they’d be like ‘hey u wanna smoke some of this here Blunt of Marajoouana?’ and i’d be like ‘no thanks i dont smoke’ and they’d be like ‘ok cool’ and never bother me about it again
drinkers? NO CHILL AT ALL. even into adulthood people act like i’ve slain their child when i say i am completely sober. like every single time i’ve said no to drinking some person is like ‘what about jello shots there’s barely any in it’ or they’ll leave me a solo cup of wine ‘in case you change your mind’ and when by the end of the night i haven’t had it they’re all ‘you didn’t want any?’ LIKE? YAH I SAID I DIDNT?
anti drug psa’s are fine but they gotta talk about drinking too bc never once did anyone i know who did drugs push me to do it too but everyone i tell i am sober tries to find a way to get me to drink like i said ‘i am sober but change my mind’ or smth
god i work at a liquor store and for some reason people get SO UPSET AND OFFENDED when i tell them i dont drink when they ask my opinion on how something theyre buying tastes.
yall are really doing this log off protest thing slfjkskfjdj you know its not gonna accomplish anything whatsoever lmaoooo theres like 5 of you in total and its so funny
Anonymous asked:
How tall is Eddie?
5'10 and i thank god herself every day for it
why is everyones icon gaudus
middle aged facebook women be like I hope they have WINE in prison because i just ran over 2 kids while on a coke bender
MENopause, MENstruation, MANslaughter… all a womans problems start with MEN!!!!!
*pic of minion sipping wine*